THE PAUSE: In the Depth of Shadows (No.2 October)

Darkness is not empty, it is full of richness, texture and truth. In shadow we see contrast, and in contrast we find depth. I paint with darkness as much as with light.

'A Year in Layers'

My 'A Year in Layers' series continues with October, bringing a deepening. The days shorten, the air cools, and the shadows stretch longer across the ground. I notice how darkness creeps in earlier each evening, not as something to fear but as something to lean into. There is richness in shadow, a kind of truth that only appears when the light softens.

I’ve always been drawn to contrasts. Light only matters because of shadow, and joy only feels full because we know loss. In my own life, grief has taught me how much depth is hidden in the darker places. Those quiet stretches where you’re asked to sit with discomfort, uncertainty, or silence.

October reminds me that shadow is not emptiness. It’s texture, weight, complexity. In memory, in art, in life - what’s hidden often holds the most meaning. Walking through fallen leaves, I see the ground dappled with light and dark, and I’m reminded how inseparable the two are.

The Studio beckons

This month I find myself working on a personal project. October brings the darkness to me through memory. It is the month we lost two precious family members, our parents, my mum and my husbands father. Something deep inside leads me to my studio, it beckons like a siren. I know painting is my healer and the simple process of making marks helps me navigate my emotions.

Grief is a language without words, a tide that reshapes the shorelines of our lives. This project began in the shadows of loss, where absence feels heavy and colour is fractured. Through abstraction, each work becomes a vessel for emotion, a place where sorrow, memory, and love can coexist without needing to explain themselves. Over the course of my month long project, the pieces are shifting and softening, moving from darkness into light. What begins in ache slowly gives way to glimmers of renewal, a quiet acceptance, and the hope that even in loss, beauty and connection remain.

Art gives us a language for what cannot be spoken. Grief often leaves us wordless, its weight too deep, its emotions too tangled for clear expression. Through colour, texture, and form, art allows us to externalise those feelings, to see them outside ourselves and begin to understand them. A brushstroke can hold anger, a wash of colour can carry sorrow, and layers of abstraction can mirror the complexity of memory and love.

In this way, art doesn’t erase grief but gives it shape. By creating, we move through the emotions rather than being trapped inside them. Viewers, too, may find resonance in what they see, recognising their own feelings reflected, softened, or transformed. Over time, this act of making and witnessing can bring comfort, clarity, and even healing, showing us that within loss, there can also be beauty, connection, and hope.

Meeting Shadows

I wonder how you meet shadows in your own life. Do you resist them, or do you let them teach you something about depth, contrast, and balance? Perhaps this month invites us all to notice the richness hiding in the darker corners.

In the darkness I find richness, but also quiet. November will be about that silence, the kind that both holds and heals.

Thanks for joining me on this amazing journey of art and life.

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Till next time

Nell x

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